holding on

ihsan google

recently lots of emotions here and there

i might appear to be like melukut di tepi gantang

which ada or tak ada doesn't make any differences

but trust me

it's not your journey,

it's our journey!

your pain is our pain

your tears is our sadness

your joy is our happiness

Keep holding on

Cause you know we'll make it through

we'll make it through

Just stay strong

Cause you know I'm here for you

I'm here for you

There's nothing you could say

nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

Cause you know we'll make it through

we'll make it through

Hear me when I say when I say, I believe

Nothing's gonna change

nothing's gonna change destiny

Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly

i dedicate this to YOU

you whom are reading this :)

ihsan google

insyaAllah

may Allah ease our way

please don't give up

sesak

assalamu'alaikum

kawan-kawan, aku sangat memerlukan kekuatan dari kamu semua. tolong doakan supaya aku tabah untuk berdepan perkara ni dengan sebaiknya.

maybe this is not the suitable time to uncover everything. walaubagaimanapun tolong doakan yang terbaik untuk segalanya.

kadang2 simpan pun sakit, luahkan pun sakit. apapun terima kasih semua.

Sedih...

I sedih sangat malam ni.I rasa sebak kat dalam hati.Air mata ni murah sangat,mudah je tumpah.

I nak minta maaf pada you,kerana I tak mampu jadi diri I yang sebenar depan you.I minta maaf.

Itulah Gunanya Kawan

Assalamualaikum semua,

Belek-belek balik gambar-gambar kita masa tahun pertama di fakulti ini, dan melihat balik wajah-wajah muda kita dulu, megimbau balik saat-saat manis bersama. Di ketika kita masih mula berkenalan dan mengenali satu sama lain, wajah kita sentiasa tersenyum dan ceria bersama. Pada saat kita mula memahami antara satu sama lain, hati sentiasa menerima, gembira bersama. kisah duka dahulu, kini hanya menjadi kenangan dan teladan dikaburi saat-saat gelak tawa bersama. Tanpa mu teman, ku tidak mampu sampai ke tahap ini. Dengan mu di sisi, aku dapat menyulusuri ranjau-ranjau berduri fakulti ini :) Terima kasih, wahai teman bernama kawan~

The Pressure Test

"It's a doomsday."

I didn't remember how many times I had repeated those words during the test until my day was really doomed.

* * *

It was all started just after we finished the final exam for the seventh semester, when we were reminded about a test that had been long forgotten - THE COMPETENCY TEST.

Whatever.

Then the semester break flew away just like that and the nightmare began. Truly, we couldn't run from anything in this world, except a dog.

I was troublesomed by my social-less lifestyle and lack of presence more than not having patient for the upcoming test, which was two day after the new semester started. Why? Because of that, I didn't get any message about it(not even through the thin air, technology had really killed it!) and as a result, I was enlisted to be among the first 'black-sheep' group to be tested.

Blank. Blank. Blank.

Alhamdulillah, luckily my partner had voluntarily passed her patient with maybe a golden case(Class II DO) to me just the morning of the day for the test(I knew you just wanted to escaped..hohoh). Just took it like that as I was not so sure what the afternoon would be. Nobody knows except Him.

To cut the long story short.

The patient arrived 5 minutes later than the exact appointment time (appointment time -2:30p.m, arrival time- 2:35p.m. The appointment time itself was very late. Don't ask me why. Better late than never!). I could put the blame on Le Tour de Langkawi and forgave him (although he works with MPAJ, just a neighbour building).

Explanation to patient + screening by doctor,

"Complete the E&D, take x-ray,do EPT test and present before 3 o'clock."

"Yes, Sir!!!" I wanted to address him like that instead of Doctor.

3.45 p.m. I didn't have any idea how did I lost the previous 10 minutes.

Why was the x-ray room seemed so far away in another kingdom? Another 15 minutes gone.

Presentation in progress... (tried my best to act cool and normal).

"&#$%%^***@#$..."

The slang of the doctor+his voice underneath his mask+my hearing blocked due to flu = I didn't really get what he was saying, yet I did stupid thing by nodding my head freely, three of us stared at each other, waiting for a crow to pass by, until another examiner doctor mention something about "LA".

"What is the type of the LA?"

"Amide?"

"????"

I took the cartridge and read (nervously but without guilty) "Mepivacaine". Thanks to the manufacturer.

Applying rubber dam on patient was one of the reason why human cannot be alone, no matter how anti-social you are. But some tricks did save the time. The feeling of passing this challenge was like I just went through half of the challenge, although I was not even half of the half itself. Whatever it was, at least the time to hold the handpiece had finally come.

The bracket table seemed a milestone away from me, so I pulled it close towards me. It backed off. I pulled it again and like a spring, it backed off. "Wanna fight, huh?". This time I pulled it stronger and...

"(Imagine the sound of dental instruments falling down to the floor. Or the sound of pots colliding during rewang.)"

Panic at the clinic. What would you do? Save the burs first!!!! (And I leave the rest for your imagination).

Caries free, cavity preparation, Dycal, GIC lining, Amalgam... all of our daily routines and best friends were there. Sounds normal, right? Except for the pop questions from the doctors that made me wanted to think that I was having short-term amnesia due to the test shock!

5:00pm - I was the 'Cinderella' who was still trying her best to carve the Amalgam into some unknown tooth morphology against the clock chime.

"Have you fractured the amalgam?" asked the 'stepfather' doctor.

"No." No way! "I am removing the high spots.".

Less than 5 minutes later, Cinderella me walked towards 'stepfather' doctor with a white flag on her back.

"Doctor, I've fractured the amalgam."

"I know."

Why was I not surprised with your answer?

* * *

Assalamualaikum semua..

Lama dah tak jenguk blog ni..Lama sangat la..Yang jenguk ni pon sebab tiba2 ada sorang batchmate kita (yakni roommate kesayangan saya) ni baca balik entry beliau dulu..And xpercaya yang beliau pernah tulis macam tu dalam blog ni..Hehe..(Saya xnak baca yang saya punyer entry,maluu..huhu..)

Tapi..2 la orang panggil kenangan kan..Kalau tak,tak letak “MEMOIR” la jadi headline blog ni..Betul tak?(Tak betol pon,kena betol jugak!)

Erm,takde ape nak dipostkan pon..Just nak wish Good Luck exam and let’s treasure our journey to Bangkok soon!(Err..exam tak habis lagi tapi dah sebok dengan Bangkok..huhu..Ada tanda2 stress di situ..)

Ok semua,all the best~

p/s: Rupa2nya N****a(juga roommate kesayangan saya) tak ntar MEMOIR dulu..Beliau baru ja confess td..